Thursday, April 13, 2023

How to reconcile the “what I should do” vs “what I truly want to do”

Have you ever struggled between the “what I should do” and “what I truly want to do”?

And if so, what framework can we use to reconcile that?

The urge for the “should do” is the “outer compass orientation” amongst us.  This is the need to follow the feelings, values, rules and thinking of others in the group/society.  It’s great for “outer harmony”, practicality and workability but at times will move away from our own “inner compass” i.e. our rules, principles, values and “what we truly want to do”.  If in extreme, it may cause significant inner disharmony, internal stress, chronic unhappiness, and loss of authenticity.  

So in order to reconcile this, we may need to work on our “inner compass” PLUS workability for better integration with the “outer compass”.  

In essence, we are trying to achieve both “inner harmony” and “outer harmony”.  Both “inner success” and “outer success”.  

It’s definitely not easy to achieve both but fundamentally speaking, that’s what we are trying to achieve through coaching/counseling.  

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