Tuesday, February 13, 2024

The “Genie question” in counseling and coaching work


In counseling/coaching, when we ask people what they truly want in their life and the answer is, “I don’t know”, that “I don’t know” may come from a space of “being too realistic” or “a fear of being judged as a silly answer”.

One way around this is to ask the “genie question” because with the genie question, it’s from a space of possibility rather than probability. 

“If I am a Genie and I grant you one single wish, what will you ask for?”

It’s better for brainstorming and exploration to get unstuck.

I wonder if you know what I mean….

Wednesday, January 17, 2024

“Life is journey not destination.” Is that helpful?


Should we focus on our goals/destinations or the quality of our journeys towards those goals?

The argument is that if one focuses on the value/quality of that journey with workability in mind, and the goal as an aim, one may end up with that goal plus more perhaps.

Consider the goal is for aiming, and value/quality of our journey towards the goal, the primary focus.

The mistake that we can all fall into is to fuse with our goals too much, and not checking in with our values as we move towards those goals. This may at times, leads to actions that go against our values, and hence, may lead to inner disharmony, inner conflict and unhappiness.

Be careful of that trap….

Saturday, January 13, 2024

3 human needs to thrive


In life, when we have too much stability, certainty and routine with everyday being the same, it can lead to boredom and stagnancy.  Growth, newness, and creativity can then suffer. 

And at the same time, having too much newness and growth without good stability can create more chaos and drama.

Like a tree needing a balance of water, soil, water and sunlight to thrive, we as humans need stability (like soil), good relationship/connection (like water), and growth/newness (like sunlight). 

Too much of any one thing and not enough of another can cause problems.

So if a tree is not thriving, make sure it has a good balance of soil, water and sunlight.

For humans to thrive, we need a balance of stability, good relationships/connection, and a healthy dose of newness/growth/creativity.

Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Should we change the words “work life balance”


The words “work life balance” may need to be changed perhaps as it implies “work” is not “life” which it is.

Maybe more accurately is a “balance between human doing vs human being”.

Human doing = zooming in, judging, and taking action.

Human being = zooming out, observing without judgement and simply perceiving to gather more data perhaps.

Too much doing without being leads to doing without clarity.

Too much being/observing without doing leads to little impact.

The right combination of doing and being leads to “flow” perhaps.  

 In “flow”, we may have more sustainable energy to go for a long time without burnout.