Saturday, June 24, 2023

The relationship between shame, guilt, humility, overconfidence and arrogance

Had a chat to my teenage son about the relationship between shame, guilt, humility, over confidence and arrogance.

It’s important for kids to be introduced to emotional literacy earlier don’t they along with numeracy, literacy and financial literacy.

There are many “literacies” that we need learn in order to adjust and adapt isn’t it?

So what is the relationship?

It’s on a spectrum isn’t it?

If one is so intensely “zoomed in” or fused with the “not good enough” story in an unhelpful way, this may manifest as shame.

If one zooms out a bit from that, then this may be experienced as guilt.

A little more and hitting a sweet spot, and it may be experienced as humility with a healthy dose of confidence.

A bit more more detached from this, and one may find one in the overconfidence zone.

And when it’s too much on one end, it may manifest as arrogance, antisocial or narcissistic traits. “Shameless” one can say.

So in emotional literacy, the ability to be aware, “zoom in” and “zoom out” dependent on context, is fundamentally critical isn’t it?

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