In counseling work, people usually come to see me when they are experiencing an internal conflict around their hierarchy of values or are stuck in a context that moves them away from those values.
Having said that, they may not have the emotional literacy to describe it in that particular way. They might instead express it as stress, anxiety, burnout, or depression.
Management:
1. Identify and acknowledge what those values are. Values are typically emotive or motivating, so check for “emotional resonance.” If it’s not emotive or motivating, it’s probably not a value of theirs. If it is emotive, then it likely is. The more core it is, the more emotive it becomes because it matters deeply to them.
2. Reconcile by changing your value-based rules but still honoring those values, or hold space for those internal conflicts. It’s quite normal to experience them.
3. With clarity around those values, take actions toward the most important ones, ensuring they are workable for sustainability.
Note: With the “feeling mind,” moving toward our values feels better. Conversely, moving away from our values often feels worse.
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