ADHD and the Mismatch of Focus: When Inner Worlds Clash with Outer Demands

The pattern I often see in people struggling with ADHD is that their minds tend to zoom in on their internal values or thoughts—what matters to them—and zoom out of the things their world, family, or environment expects them to focus on.

When their internal values and thinking differ significantly from those of their environment, it creates a major challenge.

This mismatch often leads to secondary anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, and frequent misunderstandings. One can frame this as the mismatch of the inner and outer focus rather than a “pure focus issue”.

So how can we help them to align those?

First step is awareness and mindfulness of that and with less blame towards the external context or self. “Hold space” or find emotional acceptance of that. With that renewed energy, focus on creating or finding a context that is more aligned with one’s inner thinking and values.

In essence, we help them to fine tune and follow their inner thinking and values, but at the same time, making that workable in the external world.