In counseling work, many of the folks we see struggling with unhealthy stress, are often more in the “fused state” rather than in a “defused state”.
In a “fused/zoom in state”, our perception of the outer and inner world and are very different to our experiences while we are in a more “defused/zoom out state”.
From a “fused state”, thoughts, feelings and narratives are more tightly held.
Things are more serious.
A self reflection can easily become more self critical.
A constructive feedback can become more “offensive”.
What’s assertive can become more aggressive.
There is less curiosity/openness.
There’s more bias and judgement.
There’s much less “holding space” for what is IS.
Many things can be perceived as a threat with more fight, flight, or freeze response.
There can be more compassion fatigue.
Hopes or inspiration for the future can turn into chronic worries and anxiety.
And the list goes on….
Fundamentally speaking, a large part of counseling is to help these folks get into a more “defused state” in order to complement their “fused state”.
Most high achievers are often more fused. Fusion motivates us to take action and action = achievements.
But too much fusion without the ability to defuse = problems.