Reflect on the past rather than relive the past

In counseling work, I often see folks who have a tendency to “relive” the past when they speak about the past through strong “fusion of thoughts/feelings and past memories”.  They can literally re-experiencing the event in my consult room.

Their biggest challenge is to defuse from that so that can shift from “reliving it” into “reflecting on it”, in order to pivot forward with their values, what matters to them, and what they can control. 

This is often the rate limiting step.  

If they can achieve that, then from that space, they can then create a new experience and a new story.