Helping children with behavioral and mood concerns

When assessing children with behavioural concerns and mood difficulties, I commonly ask the question…

Does this child have a tendency to be more “inner compass driven” or “outer compass driven”?

“Outer compass driven” is where one has a tendency to make decisions based on the thinking, feelings, rules or values of others.

“Inner compass driven” is where one has the tendency to make decisions based on one’s own thinking, feelings, internal rules or values.

I also often highlight to parents that one parent is usually biased towards one, and the other parent is biased towards the other. It is often complementary, although it can also be very conflicting at the same time.

It’s neither good or bad. It’s just different. However, when in “extreme”, it can create problems especially if one is unaware.

“Extreme outer compass driven” may cause one to lose oneself, one’s authenticity, and one’s inner harmony and happiness.

“Extreme inner compass driven” may show up as stubbornness, a tendency to not follow “social norms”, and struggles in the social domain.

I wonder if you can relate?