In counseling work, we often see folks who have an underlying belief or perspective of “things happen TO me/us”. This can lead to a lot of disempowerment, helplessness, and a sense of “no control”. Of course, this is neither right or wrong, but the question is, is it helpful or not helpful for that person and context?
If unhelpful, we can help these folks to defuse or detached from that, and consider shifting to ….“things happen BY me/us, or things happen THROUGH me/us”. This will allow for more empowerment to change.
A small shift in the underlying thinking or belief, can lead to a big change “on the surface”.
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