Helping to resolve and prevent conflicts through better emotional literacy and self awareness

In social groups, work groups, and families, we often see the diversity in values, beliefs, biases, and cognitive processes. It’s very normal. If we are more aware of it, it can lead to a better mutual understanding, appreciation, and collaboration. If we don’t, conflict arises unnecessarily.

There are four main groups of folks we can observe in families, in our patient population, and in society.

1. Some folks love to live life congruent with their “objective truths” above all else.

2. Some folks love to live life congruent with their values and what gives them the most inner harmony ie living life authentically and true to self above all else.

3. Some folks love to live life in whatever way “that works”. They are practical and realistic above all else.

4. Some folks love to live life in a way that gives the most outer or social harmony above all else.

So who is the best? 

Probably none, because any of the extreme regarding the above will lead to some form of dysfunction. Also, focusing too much on one framework, will come at a cost of another. It’s a balancing act.

For example…. Focusing too much on making others happy or create social harmony may come at a cost of authenticity, objective truths and practicality. 

Focusing too much on “objective truths” may come at the cost of unintentionally offending others, not having social harmony, or not allowing others to live authentically even if it’s “irrational”. 

Life is a team sport. It will need all perspectives to play well together to win. 

Ideally, big decisions can made with the consensus of all “four styles or biases”. Holding space for opposing views is critical to reconcile this I think. It’s a tough gig for sure. Not easy but worthwhile.