When working with groups, families or couples, we often see a lot of avoidable miscommunication amongst them. It is often due to our tendency to interpret the actions of others through our own filters, lenses, biases, or relational frame.
One common problem that I have observed, is our differences in ability to read the “vibes” or “feelings” of others. This can lead to a lot of unmet expectations, miscommunications, and misunderstandings.
So I wonder, which of the following you can identify in yourself or your patients?
1. I can easily pick up the feelings and relationships of the people around me, and react to them in real time to solve problems and maintain social harmony at the same time.
2. I can pick up the feelings and relationships of the people around me, but require conscious effort to maintain social norms and harmony. It’s hard work but I can do it well.
3. I can pick up the feelings and relationships of the people around me, but in a more “at arm’s length” kind of way. I use it to inform me but don’t necessarily react to them or respond to them in real time. I may not follow social norms although I might be aware of them.
4. I can pick up the feelings and relationships of the people around me, but find it very uncomfortable or unreliable. I prefer more objective data.
5. I can’t pick up the feelings and relationships of the people around me very well. I find it very confusing and I can’t trust it.
Can you relate to any of the above?
Have you observed any other patterns?
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