In counseling/CBT, sometimes we say in the right context, that our emotional reaction may be more about us, than it is about the trigger that has caused that emotional reaction.
Because of the ABC of thinking and feeling.
A=Antecedent event or trigger
B=Belief. This refers to the underlying belief that leads to the emotion reaction e.g. Life should be fair. I am not good enough. Things have to be done properly or not at all. People who have done wrong need to be punished. Everybody will leave me in the end. You can’t trust anybody. I am only significant if I achieve. I am insignificant if I fail.
C=Consequence or our emotional reaction
Some may view this perspective as “victim blaming”, and it certainly can mean that, especially if that is the intention of the person who states it.
And at the same time, it can be also be a very emotionally empowering perspective. It allows us to own that emotion, and have more “control” of it through defusion, mindfulness, or change of those beliefs that lead to that reaction.
It can empower them to escape from the Karpman Drama Triangle of victim, persecutor, or rescuer.