Thursday, March 11, 2021

Counseling is about seeing what’s in front of the curtain, and also what’s behind the curtain


In counseling, we often have to see what’s in front of the curtain, AND what’s behind the curtain as well.

If we see anger in front of the curtain, behind a the curtain might be shame and disconnection.

If we see an avoidant partner in front of the curtain, behind the curtain might be, someone who has given up on trying to make their partner happy. They feel like a failure in some ways.

If we see a demanding and critical partner in front of the curtain, behind the curtain might be extreme sadness and loneliness. They are desperately trying to reach out but going about it in the wrong way.

If we see a child misbehaving in front of the curtain, behind the curtain might be a child who feels disconnected from his/her family or friends.

We can try and fix the things in front of the curtain, but if we don’t address what’s behind the curtain, the problems will recur.

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