In counseling, I often get folks to give me a list of their “negative” reactions to triggers in their life. It is often very enlightening by applying the variables to the ABC of thinking like in algebra.
I am not good enough.
You can’t trust anybody.
I can’t cope on my own.
Everyone will leave me in the end.
Nobody loves me.
I am all alone.
I am the black sheep. I am too different.
When someone does something wrong, they need to be punished including me.
Things has to be done properly or not at all.
Why me. Why can’t I have what I want.
Something bad is going to happen to me.
If I fail, I am insignificant.
Once we are aware of them, we can defuse/detach from them or even change them. Like when we know and understanding how a magic trick is done, the optical illusion has less grip on us.