In counseling, I often get folks to give me a list of their “negative” reactions to triggers in their life. It is often very enlightening by applying the variables to the ABC of thinking like in algebra.
- I am not good enough.
- You can’t trust anybody.
- I can’t cope on my own.
- Everyone will leave me in the end.
- Nobody loves me.
- I am all alone.
- I am the black sheep. I am too different.
- When someone does something wrong, they need to be punished including me.
- Things has to be done properly or not at all.
- Why me?
- Why can’t I have what I want?
- Something bad is going to happen to me.
- If I fail, I am insignificant.
Once we are aware of them, we can defuse/detach from them or even change them. Like when we know and understanding how a magic trick is done, the optical illusion has less grip on us.