Friday, May 14, 2021

Helping parents to repair when mistakes occur

When working with parents, it’s not unusual to see parents who have very high standards for their kids and also for themselves.

They can be very hard on their kids, but can also be very hard on themselves. If not careful, guilt and shame may show up often, and that can make things worse.

The trouble is, mistakes will occur. It’s inevitable. Parenting is very very hard.

The key is to have a way to repair it.

I usually try the “take two” approach.

When mistakes happen, we reflect and acknowledge that, and ask for a “take two”.

“Johnny. About what happened before and dad got really really cranky. Can we have a “take two” and try that again?”

Ideally, the earlier the repair, the better. 

Having said that, repair can happen at any time.  Sometimes days later. Sometimes years later. There’s no “statutory period”. 

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