Saturday, March 13, 2021

Helping couples to resolve their parenting differences

In relationship work, one of the things that couples can often fight about is, parenting.

In parenting, it’s a fine balance between connection or attachment, versus discipline, rules, or boundary setting.

One parent will often have a bias towards the connection, AND the other will have a bias towards the rules/discipline. One will blame the other for being too soft, while the other gets blamed for being too harsh. Both elements are very important of course. However, too much connection without rules can lead to entitlement and chaos. Too much rules without connection may lead to rebellion.

Parenting is definitely one of the hardest job in the world, and it’s important to remember that it’s a “team sport”.  Single parents will find it really hard here, so they will need extra support. Separated parents will also need extra support to reconcile and realign their parenting goals again. 

Helping parents to see and appreciate each other’s complementary style, is an important step to stop the blame, and to bring them together again as a parenting team.

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