Part of self care is allowing ourselves “to feel how we feel” and cultivate self compassion

Following on my last post about allowing others “to feel how they feel”, the other important key skills for our Med Students and Trainees, is the ability to allow ourselves “to feel how we feel”, and cultivate self compassion. Simple to say, but really hard to do.

How do we feel when we make a mistake? When we “fail”. When we don’t know all the answers. When we lose a patient. When we are not being appreciated. When we are being manipulated. It’s certainly not easy, and if we are not careful, we may want to suppress those “unpleasant” feelings, avoid it, or act on them impulsively, especially if we are more punitive rather than self compassionate, critical rather than reflective, “rigid” rather than flexible, fused rather than defused.

A feeling or “vibe” is like an ESR. It’s more “global” in nature. Not everyone can “trust it”. It can be very messy and misleading for those who are not use to “playing” with it.

Allowing ourselves “to feel how we feel”, observe it with presence and curiosity, is a form of acceptance. It may also give us more time to process and gain more clarity, rather than avoid or react to our feelings in unhelpful ways.