I often see couples who are so disconnected but fail to reconnect in healthy ways. Their “bid for connection” often comes in the form of fight, flight, freeze which often makes things worse. Unfortunately, it’s a recurring pattern for them. It may have stemmed from past hurts which they or others are unable to change.
Same pattern will tend to give the same result isn’t it?
So the key aim is to assist these folks to defuse from the old patterns in order to create new healthier ones for their context.
And defusion is often the key rate limiting step.