In counseling, we often hear folks telling us their stories of events rather than the actual events “as is”.
The events “as is” are the literal facts of what has happened.
It’s the story that we tell ourselves or the world that dictates how we feel.
To change how we feel, we may have to defuse from our old unhelpful stories, and become better authors/writers/editors of those stories.
We can’t change the events, but we can certainly change the stories that we tell ourselves and to others.