I often see folks who have a relatively defused/emotionally detached personality style. They are usually less emotive and more “logical” in their approach to life.
However, when they are confronted by the “negative feelings” of others or feelings of conflict towards them, they are totally fused and sucked in by that.
So they can often be quite conflict avoidant and tend to ”overplease” others in order to keep the peace.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of unhappiness. They may feel unauthentic and uncomfortable when they try to “fit in” with others although they may do that relatively well.
So how can we help?
We first acknowledge and validate their experiences.
They can then learn the emotional literacy and mindfulness around how to hold space for the “negative feelings” of others.
They can gain the emotional literacy to fully understand themselves, accept themselves, and be themselves authentically and still make it workable.
Not easy but that’s the agreed plan.