Sunday, September 11, 2022

Making good decisions is difficult and here is why

When taking action from a feeling mind perspective, we ask, how does this make others feel and what do others value? Does this feel right to others? Does this make others happy?

It also ask, how does this make me feel and what do I value? Does this feel right to me? Does this feel authentic to me?

From a thinking mind perspective we ask, will this work in the real world, and how can we achieve these goals and outcome effectively/efficiently?

It also ask, does this make logical sense to me? Does this sound right to me

At each level, there is potential inner/outer conflict, and stress. Like a bug in a computer code which causes a freeze.

What is right for the feeling mind, may not be right for the thinking mind.

What feels right to others may not feel right to us.

What is of value to us may not be of value to others.

What makes logical sense to us may not makes sense to others, and may not even work in the real world.

So making good decisions can be very hard. It requires awareness, defusion, and “holding space mindfully” for all of the above.

Like in double vision and amblyopia, if one is not careful, we tend to shut down the thinking mind or the feeling mind in order to move forward.

Sometimes we shut down our own principles in order to move forward with what works. There are consequences.

Sometimes we detach from other people’s values/feelings in order to make it work. 

Sometimes we follow our own principles and values at the cost of how it makes others feel.

Sometimes we shut down our own feelings and values in order to make others happy.
It’s hard to get it right isn’t it?

The question is, are we aware of our own biases and blindspots, and the biases and blindspots of others?

Without knowing that, it’s going to be really difficult in getting it right and avoid both inner and outer conflicts.

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