Monday, August 15, 2022

Helping our patients balance the inner values with the outer values

I often see folks whose during childhood, get a lot of negative feedback from being who they are.

When they follow their values, follow what they value most and what makes them happy, they get shut down. It didn’t work. The message is that their feelings and their values don’t matter as much as the rules and values of the people around them. So they conform to make it work and in time, forget who they are and their values. They have gone “too far” one way perhaps.

It’s a balancing act isn’t it?

Follow the external rules, feelings and values of those around us for external harmony, workability and “outer success”.

Follow our own internal rules, feelings and values for inner harmony, happiness, sustainability and “inner success”.

Often the “blindspot” is the latter. I wonder if you have observed that too.

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