Seen someone recently who has been struggling with her mind for a very long time.
If her mind is like a computer, one can say that her operating system has a few major maladaptive installed programs. Many of these are of course, “installed” due to past adverse childhood experiences.
What types of “installed programs” are they?
The types of programs that make her believes that she’s not good enough, people are unreliable, people are untrustworthy, and that she is not worthy of being loved.
These are of course, very real to her, although she is trying very hard to change them. Relationships are very scary for her, and at the same time, loneliness is not a great alternative.
Despite a problematic operating system, her “RAM” or working memory is actually quite good. In actual fact, too good perhaps. She understands a lot. Has a lot of awareness. She has a lot of knowledge around mental health. She’s very intelligent. She thinks a lot. She has good insight and reasoning. But despite these awareness and reasoning, she is unable to “uninstall” the problematic programs or update her operating system.
So where from here?
Hopefully over time, we can help her to distance from her “mind” a little bit more, and ground herself back as the programmer or coder. It’s only from this space of the “observing mind” that one can manage the mind better.