A lot of counseling/coaching is to help folks create more space between their “observing mind”, and their “thinking and feeling mind”.
When we are able to consistently sit in our “observing mind” to notice our thoughts and feelings without the urge or compulsions to act or run away, then there are more psychological flexibility to act, or to let go when required.
The right amount of space=more psychological flexibility
Too much space=more detachment and apathy
Too little space=reactivity and drama
The right amount of space can change self criticism into self reflection.
Change punishments into consequences.
Change arguments into discussions.
Change aggression into assertiveness.
Change avoidance into acceptance.
So one can see that a lot of counseling/coaching is about creating “space”, and the rest will follow with more ease.