One of the most common traps I see for parents and couples, is the way in which we bid for love and connection, especially when we are under unhealthy stress.
We are in the fight, flight, or freeze response.
We demand love and connection.
We criticize in order to get love and connection.
We freeze or stonewall.
These are of course instinctive in nature. It’s our stress response.
These can work relatively well when we’re much younger. In the older years, it doesn’t really work anymore.