Friday, June 11, 2021

Helping parents, couples, and children with better emotional literacy around connection and disconnection


In parenting, unconditional connection with our children along with clear boundaries are super important for their secure attachment. It’s not easy. Without secure attachment, anxiety and fear may show up with fight, flight, or freeze responses to quickly follow.

If not careful, they may then take this pattern with them to adulthood and manifest as unhealthy insecure relationships. I am sure we all have seen those in our consultation rooms.

When disconnected, these folks tend to excessively fight and “lash out” with demands, OR avoid and run away from the emotional pain. It’s not easy. We see this pattern in couples and families all the time. One lashes out and the other one runs away. The “avoider” gives up, while the “fighter” sees the avoider as “you don’t care”.

What if we can better support and help families earlier with secure connection and attachment?

What if we can help children, parents and couples to deal with disconnection better? To reconnect when disconnected rather than fight, flight or freeze responses.

What if we can improve emotional literacy and awareness around this area?

If we can, we might have a much more healthy society …

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