Sunday, April 18, 2021

Helping school kids with IQ EQ mismatch

It’s not uncommon for me to see kids with very high IQ but relatively poor EQ, leading to IQ EQ mismatch.

They are extremely good at understanding and working with objective data and variables, and are much better than their peers in this area. But when it comes to “feelings”, it’s a difficult thing for them to understand and process. They may be much behind their peers in this area leading to poor social functioning and emotional regulation. 

Why is this a problem for these kids?

They may feel quite alone and have little connection with their tribe at school. It’s really hard for these kids to connect with their peers at both an IQ and EQ level. It’s a double whammy for them leading to adjustment issues with excessive stress response. If they are passionate and extroverted, it may lead to a more fight response. If they are more passive and introverted, it may lead to more of a flight/avoidant response. Often it’s both.

As Family Docs, when seeing fight or flight responses in school kids, it may be worthwhile to include IQ EQ mismatch as part of our differentials.

Some of these kids may end up with an ASD diagnosis if we, together with the family and schools, fail to help them understand and adjust to their environment.

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