Have you ever bought a car and after that, suddenly notice your car model “everywhere”?
Have you ever disliked someone, and all you can notice is their bad traits?
Have you ever loved or liked someone, and all you can notice is their good traits?
Have you ever been so disillusioned by your profession, and all you can notice are the problems inherent within it?
The mind has an “inbox” and a “spam box” metaphorically speaking, and the relevant information have the tendency to go into the “inbox”, and the irrelevant ones go into the “spam box”.
The problem is, our values and beliefs often dictate what is relevant to us, and hence, impact what’s in our “inbox” and what we perceive. This will obviously impact what we do and our outcome.
Noticing, defusing, and changing our values and beliefs are not easy, but this is the “space” that we ultimately need to work at in counseling and coaching.
Imagine the difference between the “inboxes” of someone who has the belief of “I am not good enough and nobody loves me”, versus someone else with the belief of, “I am enough because I am who I am”.