In counseling work, or when helping our patients particularly around emotional issues, one needs to consider a compassionate detachment mindset in order to minimize compassion fatigue or being “emotionally drained”.
Not so fused and “attached” that you will get compassion fatigue, but not too detached that we stop caring.
The danger is to swing between these “2 polar opposites”. Fusing/caring too much, or detaching/letting go completely is easier than navigating somewhere in between. Like slamming on the brakes or the gas pedal. It is easier than maintaining the car at particular speed intentionally.
Be more defused, slightly detached, firm with our boundaries, but still caring and compassionate. A little bit like parenting work. It will certainly help with our parenting skills as an added bonus.