Saturday, June 24, 2017

This will not be in the exam but it might be useful for self care. Emotional literacy and emotional processing

Emotional literacy and emotional processing: 

Do you know the difference between avoidance, "putting up with it" and acceptance?
Do you know the difference between being assertive vs aggressive?

If you have fully accepted something, you will be at peace with it.  You would feel happy with it.  If you are "putting up with it", there is a sense of resentment there.  So on the surface, acceptance and "putting up with it" may look the same but internally, the feeling is different.

With regards to assertiveness vs aggressiveness, assertiveness has no blame and less judgment.  Aggressiveness has blame and judgment as its undertone. Often people will find these 2 states difficult to differentiate and cultivate.

Emotional literacy is also important for emotional processing.  In schools, we teach our children numeracy to help them solve complex mathematical equations.  We also teach them literacy in order to solve communication issues.  The question is, do we put enough emphasis on teaching them emotional literacy to help them solve emotional problems?  I don't think we do and in my opinion, this needs to change for us to cultivate a more emotionally well generation.

Poor emotional processing, "blocking it out" or suppressing your emotions can lead to a lot of frustration

So how does one process one's emotion?  This is my take on it.....

1 Name the emotion
2 Step back and "detach" or "defuse" from the emotion and ask "Why do I have this emotion?"
"What is it trying to tell me?"  
"What external factors are there that made me feel this way and can I change that?"  and if not....
"What values and beliefs do I have that make me react this way and can I change that?"
3 Then try the "tame" the emotion with fact checking, reasoning and challenging it or "defuse from it", and focus on actions that are congruent with one's values.

Not easy of course but this certainly can be learnt and cultivated in everyday life.

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