Many ADHD/ASD folks I see have a very “inner compass” personality style i.e. they are more biased or focused on doing things that “make sense” to them or “feel right” to them, rather than following the “outer compass,” which is what the world wants from them.
To some extent, they are contrarian thinkers, and contrarian thinkers often have a tough life, especially in the early years when they don’t yet have the power, skills, or resources to follow their contrarian thinking.
This can lead to misunderstanding, unmet expectations, and subsequent anxiety/depression.
From a psychotherapy point of view, I try to help them:
1. Embrace their “inner compass” personality style.
2. Work on the “outer compass” skills or find “outer compass” folks to complement them for workability.
3. Most importantly, I encourage them not to judge themselves based on how well they manage the outer compass demands — in order to maintain self-esteem.
If self-esteem is preserved through self-understanding and self-acceptance, then these “inner compass contrarian thinkers” may find far more success in later life, when they have the power, resources, knowledge and skills to bring their inner compass ideas to the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment