Helping children who are struggling at school

When a child struggle behaviorally at schools, if you are allowed to ask one question only, what would it be?

For me, it’s probably this.

Is this child more “inner compass orientated” or “outer compass orientated”?

The ones who make decisions based on their own thinking or feelings, are more “inner compass oriented”.

The ones who make decisions based on the thinking or feelings of others, are more “outer compass oriented”.

The extremes of both may cause adjustments problems with stress or anxiety.

One may find it hard to conform and may struggle to follow social norms. One may be very prone to peer pressures.

Knowing their biases may guide management in a transdiagnostic kind of way. 

It’s important to acknowledge that the world needs both inner and outer compasses.  One is NOT better than the other.  Both have their pros and cons.  Outer compass is for outer harmony.  Inner compass is for inner harmony. Following one will often come at the cost of the other. .  

“Inner” needs to learn more “outer”, and “outer” needs to learn more “inner”.

Inner compass orientation is great for authenticity, living life true to who we are, accepting self and others for who they are.  But at times, it can go against “social norms”.  

Outer compass orientation is better for social harmony, but at times, can come at a cost of authenticity and living a life that is true to who we are.   

There’s a tension between the two that we need to reconcile isn’t it?