Friday, August 20, 2021

Helping parents to help their children with psychological rigidity

We commonly see young school children with “psychological rigidity”. This has been of course very problematic for them at school. It’s a common problem.

Of course, parents often want us to “fix them”, but the reality is, our best chance of improving this is help the parents to be more “psychological flexible themselves” in order to model it and assist/coach their child.

To cultivate psychological flexibility, one has to work on the following.

1. Create space between our “observing mind” and our thoughts/feelings through defusion and mindfulness.

2. Learn to accept and make peace with the things that we cannot change.

3. Be more present rather than just past and future orientated. Be able to integrate all of these 3 elements.

4. Know oneself and one’s values. Take more value orientated actions AND at the same time, reconciling these with the values of society.

This can often set realistic expectations for the parents. It’s not easy for most adults let alone for children.

It will take a lifetime to gain great competence, but the trick is, to focus on the growth journey.

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