Helping our patients with better emotional literacy to improve communication and resolve conflicts

When helping couples and families resolve their conflicts, I often notice various differences in their communication style.

These are the patterns that we can observe.

Some focus more on …

1. The feelings with which a message is delivered rather than the precise words itself.

2. The precise words rather than the feelings with which it is delivered.

3. Both the feelings and the words in roughly equal amounts.

4. Both the feelings and words but with a slight emphasis on the feelings.

5. Both the feelings and words but with a slight emphasis on the words.

Knowing our bias/style and the style of others, will assist us with better communication. 

It’s not uncommon for us to see the scenario where one partner is extremely focused on the exact words and detached from the feelings, and the other is completely the opposite. 

At times, as Family Doctors, we are more or less serving as an interpreter. It’s no wonder couples can struggle with communication for a long time, as they may not be speaking in the same “language”.