Tuesday, May 4, 2021
Helping ourselves and our patients lessen the fear of failure
I was asked to share some tips on how to manage “fear of failure” as it is a common problem for both our patients and ourselves as Healthcare Professionals ....
It’s certainly a big big problem for those with unrelenting standards and tendencies for self criticism.
So why do we have a fear of failure?
It may be due to some underlying beliefs acquired through our upbringing, personalities, and life experiences. By being aware of these underlying beliefs, we may begin to defuse from them, be mindful and create space for them, or even challenge/change them over time.
So what are some of the common ones we see?
1. Some of us may have the belief that we are only significant when we achieve, and are insignificant when we fail. So the fear of failure may actually be a fear of insignificance, which is pretty scary for many understandably.
2. Some of us may have the belief that we are only likable or lovable when we achieve, and are unlikable or unlovable when we fail. So the fear of failure may actually be a fear of exclusion from our “tribe” or a fear of disconnection.
3. Some of us may have the simple belief that achievement is good and failure is bad, rather than failure equals growth and learning.
4. Some of us may have the belief that when we achieve, we make our family proud, and when we fail, they will be very disappointed with us, so the fear is actually a fear of disappointment.
5. Some of us may have strong values around competence and effectiveness, and believe that failures automatically equate to incompetence and ineffectiveness.
You may be able to think of a few more perhaps.
Whatever it is, we may choose to defuse from them, be mindful and make room for them, or reframe them.