Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Helping couples to appreciate their differences rather than blaming each other for being different


In relationship counseling work, sometimes it’s important to reframe the struggles that each individual has in that relationship as a “learning journey”, and learning is of course hard work.

An introvert may partner up with an extrovert and over time, we learn to be more extroverted.

An inner compass person may partner up with an outer compass person and over time, we learn to be more outer compass orientated.

A feeling orientated person may partner up with a “heady” person and over time, we learn to follow our feelings but also have strong principles to guide those feelings.

We often seek our opposites as it complements and helps us learn the “opposites” of ourselves. This is also very annoying at the same time.

Framing it as “learning the opposites for our own self development”, rather than “we are too different”, may cultivate more appreciation rather than blame.

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