Sunday, December 27, 2020

How to help our patients repair after a conflict in their relationships


Festive seasons will bring families together, and when families are together, some conflict and tension will invariably occur.

I recently had an “out of the blue” conflict with one of my close relatives. Fortunately, we were able to repair that after a brief period of “timeout”.

In any meaningful relationships, there will be conflicts. It’s inevitable. Being aware, and knowing how to repair, is an “absolute must have” skill in any relationship work. If we are able repair something, there will be less fear of it going astray.

So how do we repair?

Acknowledge and “allow space” for the other person’s point of view and their feelings.

Acknowledge and “allow space” for our own point of view and feelings.

With the values around care, compassion, and being solution orientated, we move forward with aligned goals and shared values.

Using the toolbox above, think Y-Axis of acceptance/acknowledgement, and be assertive guided by our values, rather than the X-Axis of avoidance and aggression (flight or fight response).

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