Friday, November 20, 2020

Helping our patients to reconcile the outer world with their inner world

In counseling, we often see folks where their “outside environmental rules and values” are so different to their “inner rules and values”. This is a real challenge for them. Often, they may not even know what those inner rules and values are, but when it’s different to the “outer world”, it simply doesn’t feel right or make sense to them.

This “gap” will general create a lot of stress and tension for them as they try to reconcile their “outer world perception” with their inner ones. The bigger the gap, the bigger the stress. The stress and tension will then “metastasize” to many areas of their lives if they are not aware. Counseling is to help them reconcile this gap. It’s a bit like updating your Windows or firmware.

So how do we do that?

1. Help them to identify what those inner rules and values are.

2. Help them to find, or upskill and change the outer world so that it’s more in line with their inner rules and values.

3. Help them to defuse, change, update or refine their inner rules and values to reconcile with their outer world.

4. Or a combination of the above to find that “sweet spot”, although it may be very elusive and ever changing.

I wonder what Window version do we and many of our patients have?

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